3 Crucial Things In Your Control When Unexpected Hardship Hits

When Adversity Blindsides You

Have you ever found yourself going through life content and then all of a sudden you receive bad news which makes you feel like the rug of life has been pulled out from underneath you?

Maybe the bad news was the loss of a loved one or a critical health diagnosis or being laid off from your job or the loss of your marriage of 20+ years. These are devastating circumstances.

You think "These things happen to other people. They aren't supposed to happen to me."

You become overwhelmed with what to do next because this unexpected adversity affects every aspect of your life.

How did your life get so out of control?

3 Things You Still Have Control Over

You may feel your life is out of control but you still have control over three important things.

1. You have control over your thoughts. You are free to control your thoughts and change your own perception of things. Thoughts don't just happen. You  have the power to generate positive thoughts all day long. 

2. You have control over what you say. Controlling your thoughts and emotions can influence what you say. The bible says in Proverbs 12:18 (NIV) "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Use your words to lift someone up not tear someone down. Positive thoughts create positive words.

3. You have control over your actions. You can choose to do something positive when adversity hits. Ask yourself "If I can't do _________ then what can I do?" What resources, talents, and skills do you have in your control to move forward?

Losing My Health Insurance Unexpectedly After My Divorce

When my husband chose to end our 27-year marriage just two months after my heart transplant surgery, I told him it was imperative that I keep my military health insurance to continue my heart transplant follow up visits.

I relayed the same information to my divorce attorney. 

I even called my military health insurance company three times with the same detailed information and they gave me three different answers: when my ex-husband turns 60 in 2021, when I turn 60 in 2022, and I'm not eligible even though I'm a verified 20/20/20 former spouse. Ugh!

Three months after my divorce, I received my new 20/20/20 former spouse military ID card. I knew my health insurance would now go under my own SSN but I still could not get clarification for the delay in enrolling.

Now I feel like an anomaly so I contacted my Congressman to help with my situation. Another month later the Army told his office that I was not eligible to enroll, no reason why.

Back to square one after six months of frustration.

By this time I had missed the deadline to enroll in the Continued Health Care Benefits Program by four months because I was told previously that my health insurance would continue after my divorce. Ugh.

Oh, my frustration. Seven months have passed since my divorce and I have no health insurance.  I have missed six months of heart transplant follow up procedures as well as six months of blood work.

I cannot adjust my heart transplant medications until I have a follow up procedure at the hospital. However, I have no health insurance to pay for the hospital procedure.

I have to pay out-of-pocket for my heart transplant medications because I must stay on my anti-rejection medications for life.

This was an HUGE unexpected adversity in my life.

How I Handled My Unexpected Adversity

It's been almost two months since I accepted the fact that I have no health insurance and have to pay out-of-pocket $1,300 a month for my heart transplant medications.

I loathe injustice. 

Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of my situation, I asked myself "What three things do I always have control over?"  My thoughts, my words, and my actions.

1. I controlled my thoughts. I found peace and comfort knowing that God is in control and can bring good out of every situation. He sees everything. He knows everything. He is the God of the impossible. Even though I do not know the outcome, He does. I trust him completely.

If you want to know how I came to trust God completely, please read my story and my blog How God Proved I Could Trust Him In Difficult Times. It didn't happen overnight. It happened through other adversities I've experienced throughout my life.

2. I controlled what I said. I chose to stop complaining to my family about how frustrated I was about dealing with my insurance.  I left it in God's hands so I needed to let Him do His thing with it.

I do keep a journal. It helps me get thoughts swimming around in my head down on paper so I don't ruminate. It also allows me to release my sarcasm in my private journal. I also use my journal to write down things I'm grateful for.

3. I controlled my actions. I choose to keep my actions positive. I continue to eat a whole food plant based lifestyle, limit myself being around groups, get plenty of sleep, daily movement (I despise the word "exercise"), and giggle a lot with my twin sister/roommate.

I started playing the piano again and began crocheting a new baby blanket for a gift. All of these activities bring me joy and help me keep a positive perspective.

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I recently found out that I am eligible to enroll in my military health insurance this month but there was a delay with my ex-husband's retirement application package.

I will soon find out if I can enroll in my health insurance in the next week or two. If not, it will be another 90+ days.

I hate injustice.

But on the bright side, God is in control and can bring good out of every situation. I trust Him completely.

Question: Have you experienced unexpected hardship? If so, how did you handle it. If not, how will you remember to use the three crucial things you have control over?

Daily Mantra: Hunt the good stuff, find the humor, keep positive, and focus on your blessings. God can bring good out of every situation.